Yankee Brew News Archive

Redbones: A Third Date Kind of Place

Originally Published: 03/95

By: Ken "The Luckmeister" Spolsino

You know how when you take your new flame out on the town for the first time, the evening is usually spent in some swank bistro. The sort of pooh-pooh, tres-elegant place where the wait-staff wear cummerbunds, treat you both like the great unwashed, serve baby vegetables "a la carte," have no beer selection and charge you half your week's wages for the privilege.

Your date, of course, is suitably impressed with your faux-taste and counters with her own game plan of showing you how she "eats like a bird," only interested in nibbling off small pieces of lettuce from her "ensalade," being careful not to fill up on the sole cherry tomato because it soaked up too much vinaigrette. She tells you that she adores the wine you ordered, but fears the second glass may be more than she should drink, when actually you both hate chardonnay.

The second date is spent in a more casual atmosphere, but you still end up wearing a tie because you don't want break the illusion you've created in her mind. The restaurant will have wait-staff that barely show up at the table to take your order and eventually serve the meal. You at least take solace in the fact that this place has a limited beer selection of the standard, insipid, American ale. You know your date is more at ease because, although she did not consume much of the entree, she does partake of the dessert menu. This is the clue that I look for, which assures that another date is probable.

The third date is where your true personality emerges. You don your flannel shirt and blue jeans and decide that it is not all that necessary to clean out the rolling dumpster you call a car. You arrive late (of course) to pick up your date and make up the time by driving at warp speed to a place where you know the staff will be happy to see you, the food will come in heaping helpings, and the beer selection is the highest priority on the beverage listing.

By this time your date has seen through your facade and anticipated the evening by wearing something with an elastic waistband because she knows she will need room to expand. Her "bird-like" appetite has turned into something more equestrian than avian as she orders even more food than you. To your surprise and delight she takes the initiative and orders rounds of ambers and porters throughout the evening. By now you realize this can only lead to true love.

I've brought you to this point, my friends, in order to reveal, perhaps, the mecca of third date restaurants, Redbones of Somerville, Massachusetts. I've lived in Boston all my life and could count my excursions to Somerville on one hand while holding a mug of beer, prior to my discovery of Redbones. Since then, I've made the trip with such frequency that I believe my car could drive there by itself. Truth be told, I now experience a Pavlovian response at the mere mention of the Redbones name.

Redbones wait-staff are pleasant and efficient. They make you feel like a guest in their home rather than the hurry up and eat gratuity mongers one may encounter at establishments with greater so-called panache.

Redbones offers a fine array of grilled offerings. The aroma alone could turn the staunchest vegetarian into a lusty, lip smackin', bone gnawing member of the upper food chain. A typical entree like Arkansas Ribs or Smoked Beef Brisket, served with beans, cole slaw and mouthwatering special sauce, costs $10.95.

Their beer roster is outstanding with 24 microbrewed beers on tap to satisfy the thirst of even the more selective brewphile. Average price of a fine micro, like Harpoon IPA or Sam Adams Honey Porter is $3.50.

Redbones is located at 55 Chester Street off Davis Square, in Somerville. You may obtain directions by phoning the restaurant at (617) 628-2200. Remember to wear your elastic waistband pants.